me after handball: "but zach, you know how I am at those kinda functions - I just dont do well with...ya know..them types"
zach: "relaxxxx, it's a pot luckkkk - you'll take home leftovas - just give it a shot will ya?"
free homecooked food=my compliance=me attending short term anniversary of jen
jen hadn't known kenneth that long. a year together, a quick wedding at the Y, a honeymoon in the ozarks and they werre fuckin celebrating 3 months. after a few quick pepsi's i reluctantly downed from the built in bar/dining nook i decided to make my rounds in search of some kosher talent.
to my un-surprise, zach and i were stuck in a cesspool of pot-roast loving couples, all eager to throw their own short term anniversary party. i spat some holy game at a few broads i thought might be DTF and DFM (down for moses), but my sharp quips and Ashkenazisms didn't impress no one.
determined to be alone as fuck for the night, I decided to wander the house. what i saw was horrific. domesticated birds, decorative plates, more ceramic cherubs than i could count, and zach trying to fit in were just some of the things i was witness to throughout the evening. my documentation speaks for itself and the deeply seeded motivation behind jen's decision to throw a party for her three month's with kenneth.
please, please spare this from pre-bar(t)mitzvahed eyes.
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