short term anniversaries

jen, a long time friend of zachary's (my closest pal in Tuesday's handball league) threw a short term anniversary party in the burbs the other night.

me after handball: "but zach, you know how I am at those kinda functions - I just dont do well with...ya know..them types"
zach: "relaxxxx, it's a pot luckkkk - you'll take home leftovas - just give it a shot will ya?"
free homecooked food=my compliance=me attending short term anniversary of jen

jen hadn't known kenneth that long. a year together, a quick wedding at the Y, a honeymoon in the ozarks and they werre fuckin celebrating 3 months. after a few quick pepsi's i reluctantly downed from the built in bar/dining nook i decided to make my rounds in search of some kosher talent.

to my un-surprise, zach and i were stuck in a cesspool of pot-roast loving couples, all eager to throw their own short term anniversary party. i spat some holy game at a few broads i thought might be DTF and DFM (down for moses), but my sharp quips and Ashkenazisms didn't impress no one.  

determined to be alone as fuck for the night, I decided to wander the house. what i saw was horrific. domesticated birds, decorative plates, more ceramic cherubs than i could count, and zach trying to fit in were just some of the things i was witness to throughout the evening. my documentation speaks for itself and the deeply seeded motivation behind jen's decision to throw a party for her three month's with kenneth.

please, please spare this from pre-bar(t)mitzvahed eyes.

"For Dummies" Book Collections

Here's the newest addition to mine!!




¡Heeyyyaaa m'luvly readrs! How wuz y'alz 3day wknd?

You: "Has Mandy gone knoodles?"
Me: "No, I most definitely have not. I'm just following rule #1 of my new book, Blogging for Dummies:

"1) Throw the Rules out the Window - Informal is the New Normal"

While I may have a fandy dandy double bachelor's degree in Journalism and Psychology, I'm brand spankin' new to this blogging stuff, so I did what I always do when I feel scared and clueless - I headed over to Barnes & Noble's and purchased a For Dummies series book on the subject that makes me scared and clueless!!

Unfortunately, Barnes and Noble's also carries the new Glee Seasons 1 & 2 DVD box set.

Yes, I bought it.
Yes, I've only managed to get one rule deep into Blogging for Dummies as a result.

If only they had an audio version...

<3

Mandy

presidents day

nuff said.

Charm Bracelets

Lesson of the day -

www.tiffany.com + weekends = black hole of doom and/or amazingness

Yeah, you guessed it. I just wasted an another Saturday afternoon fantasy shopping for Tiffany charm bracelets and now have to rush like crazy to get ready for my friend Jill's B-Day dinner at Buca. (Straightening my hair as we speak. Go multitasking!! That's what us girls were made for, right?!)

Apologies for the brevity
An amazing Weekend to all
Be wary of Tiffany
Garlic bread a'calls

Poems happen,

<3

Mandy

not downloading anything for free

most people have bit-torrented an album. pirated a dvd screener. used an image (like the one above) from someone else's website. however, if you can't do so without overwhelmingly strong inclinations to pay - you might be just a litta goy

it's quite possible that of the nearly $2 billion iTunes pulled in last year, a significant portion was largely due in part to goys eager to shell out their money for their favorite adult contemporary and show tune tracks (and Daughtry, Adam Lambert, David Cook and McPhee singles, plus their b-roll studio recording session footage...save for another post). goys were also the only people siding with Lars Ulrich when he decided to sue Napster...and Dr. Dre...but he's OG and Goy's generally dont like gangsters...so its coo

so if you find yourself shaky before clicking that download button, just goy for it, pull a winenoa, and pat yourself on the back and say mazel tov!...you've just saved enough to treat yourself to another cinnamon-apple scented candle

Being Part of a Live Studio Audience...

...is what I'm going to be doing on March 17th!!

Permission to be jealous, granted.





















Sooo...my mom is coming into town for a week in March. In addition to her usual program of antique shop crawling, pastry binging, and rental car GPS fumbling, mommy dearest will be coming out to do something she's always wanted to do - see a live taping of The Oprah Winfrey Show.

Aside from my Mom simply being a huge Oprah fan, her sister (my Aunt Teresa) went to a live taping of Martha a few years back and couldn't stop raving about it for months. It got obnoxious, but the nonstop countertop feed of baked goods made it worth enduring.

I stole the photo above from Aunt Tessa's old AOL "You've got Photos" account. Don't ask about the yellow ponchos. Apparently, Martha was demonstrating an "extra juicy" turkey basting technique and handed them out in case of squirtage. I know...it's a little cheesey, especially since nobody actually got wet, but the Martha brand poncho is a totally amazing souvenir. My aunt still power walks in it to this day!!

Anyway, back to Oprah. As most of you probably know, it's Oprah's very last season. I read in US Weekly that Anderson Cooper might replace her, which I'm totally fine with considering AC is the hottest gray-haired man on the planet!! Regardless, Oprah's absence from my life (mostly in the form of my mom's constant references to her show) will definitely be palpable. She such an amazing and inspiring woman. Take that Michele Obama!!

Well, I'm off. I know it's still a month away, but it's never too early to swiffer the apartment. Mom is such a stickler!!

<3

Mandy

bottling it all up

if you've ever come across someone who says, "yeah, I'm just the easy going type...it takes a lot to make me mad!" (followed by a generous smile, and then a blanketed, hollow stare), they are most likely experiencing the all too common goydrome of, "bottling it all up."

don't worry, there's nothing you can do.

goy's are like ticking time bombs, with no fuse. when everything is going wrong, it's just going that much more right. argumentative feelings about getting another dog, the dread of going to work, accepting a burnt breakfast from your loved one are all responded to the same way - with the radiance of a routinely flossed grin and an a-okay! from a freshly sanitized hand.

everythings good! really goy-in' good!